Atkins Capstone Project

 

(I included an uncropped version of the image because the roses at the bottom of the piece come off the page, and the image looks very different with natural/studio lighting). 

For my capstone project, I chose to explore the two prompts of perception versus distortion and self versus object. I decided to choose a more narrow topic that interconnects the two themes and is a problem that I have been struggling with recently. For my capstone project, I chose to depict imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome can be defined as "the persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills". It is the constant worry that you only got to where you are today because of luck and that at any moment you could be found out as a fraud. I decided to depict myself in this piece (not my brother haha) because it is a topic personal to me, and it emphasizes the topic of self versus object as it is a self-portrait. The shattered glass in the back is supposed to represent the subject looking through a broken mirror, which in turn represents the subject's distorted perception of her own self-image. Her expression and unusually pale complexion represent the constant anxiety and fear that is caused by the imposter syndrome. The flowers represent the subject hiding the presence of imposter syndrome under her accomplishments and almost romanticizes the syndrome. 

To create this piece, I wrapped black paper around a 24''x 36" canvas using duct tape like a present and traced a photo of myself in pencil (because I like to work with negative space). However, after I finished tracing, I couldn't really see my pencil lines, so some of my work (such as the nose and eyes) are freehand. I completed the figure, hand, and pen in chalk pastel and then painted FRAUD on top of the subject's chest in red Guache paint (I experimented writing with different mediums over chalk, and the only mediums that worked were guache and acrylic). Next, I cut up 15 CDs into geometric shapes of different sizes and pieced them together like a puzzle in the back. I created a gradient of highly concentrated pieces at the bottom, and less concentrated at the top, so it would look as if the glass was falling on the subject. Then I hot glued them to the canvas. Next, I added three flowers to the bottom of each corner that I made with pink and green felt and hot glue. 

The title of this piece is "Imposter Syndrome" and I am proud of the outcome. If I had more time, I think I would try to make the shading of the nose look more realistic, because before I had an idea that I wanted to also cover some parts of the face in CD pieces, so I didn't work very hard on the shading of the bridge of the nose. After completing the full portrait and cutting out the pieces, I didn't like how the face looked when covered so I scratched that idea. In the end, I really enjoyed working with mixed media and I am happy with how the background turned out.